This is how I feel about snow right now. And, like Lorelai, I don’t need a physics lesson right now, no matter how well it’s intentioned:
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I caught Adam Sandler’s Chanukah Song on the radio the other day and it made me smile for about an hour. You’ve probably heard it before, but who can get tired of a song that rhymes “Scrooge is” with “Stooges.”
My rationally selfish friends will get a kick out of this cute little comedy sketch:
At Sam’s birthday party at the park, Adam was admiring a little girl in a brown dress with pigtails. She was impeccably groomed and looked very cute. We noticed that her parents were sitting on the bench right next to us. Adam said to her mother, “She’s really cute.” The mother replied, “She’s a little bossy.” And then, yelling out to her cute little girl, she said, “Just go down the slide. Go down the slide, now! Arianna, play now!”
The seven stages of toddler sleep (also known as Why I Don’t Let My Daughter Sleep In My Bed):
- Rapid Limb Movement (RLM)
- The drooling stage
- The twitching stage (not to be confused with RLM)
- The heavy breathing stage
- The sweating stage
- The grunting stage
- The continuous flip flopping stage
The final two stages lead inevitably to the awakening of the toddler, which, if you’ve experienced all seven stages, is always about an hour too soon.
Adam was trying to remember the name of this kids’ entertainment performer we saw about 6 months ago at a party.
Adam: What was that guy called? The Great Cucumber? The Great Tortellini?
Me: It was The Great Zucchini.
And then I laughed so hard that Sam got upset because she thought I was crying.
Rest in peace, California. An Onion-worthy satire.
Under the influence of spiritual guru Jerry Brown, it began wholesale experimentation in exotic spending programs, eventual resulting in a traumatic 1979 stay at the Prop 13 Rehab Center.
“California loves children,” said Vermont. “California loves children, because deep inside California is a also a child — full of innocent wonder, and the belief that any budget wish can come true as long as you just wish hard enough.”
In 2003 the state rejected suggestions that it was facing bankruptcy, saying that “I can’t be out of money, I still have checks left.”
I don’t think there is anything on the internet that gives me more consistent smiles than Dooce’s photos of her dog, Chuck, balancing things on his head. And here is the video that started it all.
Did you know that Tweeting can make you immoral? It’s true, say some scientists. Here are some excellent points that you just can’t dispute:
…[R]apid-fire news updates and instant social interaction are too fast for the ‘moral compass’ of the brain to process.
…[H]eavy Twitters and Facebook users could become ‘indifferent to human suffering’.
Celebrities of all types – from rugby players to chefs to pop stars – are becoming hooked on the instant updates [and we know celebs are BAD].
‘Lasting compassion in relationship to psychological suffering requires a level of persistent, emotional attention.’
I feel really bad when I see roadkill. Does that make me moral? Sometimes I spend minutes upon minutes thinking about the suffering of everyone who ever watched a Michael Moore documentary. I must be really good. But those kids today – they’re just moving too darn fast. I know cuz I have that science stuff to back me up:
The study used compelling, real-life stories to induce admiration for virtue or skill, or compassion for physical or social pain, in 13 volunteers.
Here’s a humorous reminder not to take the big things for granted either.
(Hat tip to Scribbit who chose my favorite line, too.)
I was a bit dismayed to find out from LB at 3 Ring Binder that the melody from Eric Carmen’s pop song, “All By Myself” was taken straight from my beloved Rachmaninoff’s Second Piano Concerto. I really don’t care if he stole it or it was subconscious or it was a coincedence – I just hope I don’t associate the two forever.
It did get Adam and me talking about copyright infringement in music and Adam found these two hilarious videos, showing how common some chord progressions really are.
Three Good Things for the day:
- I had groceries delivered to my door. I have to admit, that is one nice thing about living in a big city again.
- Adam picked up Samantha from day care today, and the moment she walked in the door she said MOMMY in the most precious, excited voice. That’s a rare treat for me.
- Funniest and scariest link of the day (ok, so she posted it yesterday) goes to Rational Jenn. Reading the reviews of the Playmobil Security Checkpoint toy gave me hope for the future of this country. If that many people can recognize authoritarianism in the TSA, AND be that funny about it, we’ll be ok. Well, maybe not.
I’ve been letting Samantha type on my keyboard lately. She is able to find quite a few letters, naming them and typing them. (“Y” is so passé – “W” is now the hot letter.) She loves it when I hold her finger and help her type her name, and the names of the rest of the family, as we do with pen and paper sometimes also. She’s found some of the punctuation, too, and today she named the period, BABY CIRCLE.
One of the new skills you learn as a parent is interpreting an alien language:
FOG-O, FOG-O, FOG-O. DIE. DIE. NO TOUCH WET. NO TOUCH. FOG-O. DADDY CUT TREE. YESCH.
The decorative metal frog that we kept outside on the balcony is now downstairs on the deck, and it reminds me of that one frog, well it was a lizard, but it looked like a frog, that we saw at grandma and grandpa’s house, and it was dead, but back to the metal frog, I was not allowed to touch it when it was raining outside that one time, but then I saw it downstairs when daddy was cutting down the tree. Yes.
Three Good Things for the day:
- Sam met a dog named JoJo who reminded her of her grandparents’ dog, Honey.
- I cleaned my hardwood floors with Murphy’s Oil Soap for the first time since we moved in and I’ve been admiring how beautiful it looks all day.
- I’m about to go pour myself a glass of wine and chuckle about this for the rest of the evening.