I have no idea how Google works. Why am I the tenth hit when you search, “woman pooing her pants?” Yikes!
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Three Good Things for the day:
- Cooked an excellent barley and vegetable soup tonight, thanks to Six O’Clock Scramble.
- Decided to try eliminating time-outs for Sam and work on positive discipline. I don’t think I’ll figure it all out unless I give it a try. Thanks, readers and friends, for sharing your thoughts. I’ll keep you posted.
- Brian Malow is definitely the find of the day (thanks Kim!) This guy is a “science comedian” and it’s really just good stand-up comedy, but with basic science as a running theme. This vid starts out a bit slow so hang in there – it’s worth it.
Another interesting find in my new home:
This is the space right next to my dishwasher. I was cleaning the cabinets near it when I saw this mess. There is a grape, some wadded up paper, plastic wrapping of some sort, and the glass, which is not a drinking glass, but a lamp shade for the ceiling fan light fixture in our breakfast area. We can’t get the lamp shade out – it doesn’t fit! Adam and I have been debating about how it got there. It must have arrived there sometime between the time they installed the horrible tile floor and the time they installed the dishwasher. Adam thinks somebody put it there as some kind of joke. I think they must have installed the ceiling fan at the same time they installed the dishwasher, and it just rolled there. But in my theory, the lamp shade would have had to roll all the way around a peninsula. Unless it was on the kitchen counter and fell off and rolled in there. I could think about this for days.
Samantha made her first joke last night. We were eating dinner and I said, “excuse me” in a funny way. It cracked her up so much that I started saying it over and over in all sorts of silly ways. Of course, Steve Martin was in there, as was Mike Myers. I pretended to let food fall out of my mouth and said “excuse me.” I “accidentally” ate some food off of Sam’s plate and said “excuse me.” I stretched it out long, and then I said it as fast as I could. I said it with a high pitch, I said it with a low pitch. I had her laughing so hard she almost fell out of her chair. Then she put her hand over her mouth and, pretending to sneeze, said, AH-AHHH-AHHH-SCUSEME!
Samantha did this today.
Forgive me, Internet, for I have sinned. It has been 185 days since my last confession.
I watch too much TV.
From Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, I learned to use wet toilet paper to wipe up the dusty hairy gunk from the bathroom counter before using a cleaning product.
From The Newleywed Game, I learned to use pubic hair to lather up soap in the shower.
From the The Man Show, I learned to throw dry garments in the dryer with a wet towel to steam out the wrinkles.
At least you can say that you learned these handy tips from a blog. I, however, am off to say 5 Hail Hiro‘s and 4 Our Father Who Art in Prison‘s.
I can’t figure out which Sam is my boss.
Sam is sick again so we’re watching Sesame Street right now. She’s been very interested in the alphabet lately and has been pointing to and naming letters. Sesame Street was doing an alphabet skit and Sam was saying a lot of the letters when they came up on the screen. But after “H” she stopped and said, “Y.” I told her, “that’s K; that’s L,” but she just said “Y” a few more times and then waited for it to appear. After it came and went, she said, “Bye bye Y. Bye bye Y. Bye bye Y.”
Adam, yelling at the dog: “Toby, get away from Jinx’s litter box! That is not a food depository.”
Me: “You mean repository. In fact, it really is a food depository of sorts.”
Adam: “Yeah, right. Toby, get away from that box! That is not manna from heaven. If you eat it, you’ll make Jinx even more certain he is a god.”
Today is Sam’s third birthday, if you count the day she was born. She turned two years old at 11:37am this morning. We’re all still recovering from the three day party we had over the weekend with grandma and grandpa Mossoff, so I’ll just post this old video today.
Calling all atheists! If you haven’t yet seen this hilarious series of videos, set aside an hour or so today and take an aspirin to prepare for the side-splitting and cheek-aching that will ensue.
From Crackle:
(If, like me, you have trouble navagating the Crackle video site, try www.mrdeity.com . It’s a bit easier. Some episodes are still available on YouTube, but at some point the creators must have sold exclusive rights to Crackle.)
)This Canadian real estate agent has created an hilarious “virtual tour” of bad real estate photos. The cheesy music is a nice touch. If you’ve ever browsed homes on the internet, you’ll get a kick out of this.
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