Montessori

Samantha is learning how to take turns!  After a few Montessori classes, I can see the light bulb going off.  

She really likes to play with a particular toy at Montessori:  a low, flat box full of hard clay, with golf tees and a mallet with which to pound them into the clay.  This week, the clay toy came to her attention when she saw another girl pick it up.  She went over to grab at it, and I did my usual explanation of how the other girl had chosen it and Sam could have a turn when she was finished.  Sam didn’t protest, and went on to work on a puzzle.  But in the middle of it, she leapt down from her chair and raced away.  When I looked up, I saw that she was picking up the clay toy just as the other girl returned it to its shelf.  She had her eye on that toy the whole time!  And since that lesson was the most important at the moment, I didn’t call her back to put away the puzzle, but went with her and told her that THAT was called taking turns.  Ok, so I probably praised her too.  I’m still working on less praise and more description.  But I was so pleased!

Samantha and I went to our first Montessori class today.  Since it is a 7-week session designed for toddlers, I thought that it would be full of moms and kids who were starting pre-school in the fall, just like me and Sam, but the school starts taking toddlers into this class as soon as they can walk, and some people repeat the 7-week session, so the ages ranged from 15 months to just-turned-three, and most of the kids had been to prior sessions.  I think there were about 8 children there today, but it varies from week to week.

The class was held in a room set up just like a Montessori classroom, but geared just a bit younger.  There are rolled up mats which the children use to define their own work space on the floor.  If they prefer a table, there are a few, all with just two chairs, one for mommy and one for the child.  There is a potty on the floor in the corner, but no pressure to use it.  The materials/toys are similar to a primary Montessori class, but a bit simpler.  Everything is on low shelves and the children pick what interests them, or they watch other children. There is also a big slide for those kids who just need to get their energy out.  There is a snack table with just two chairs, so the kids must take turns.  Bananas, plastic knives, napkins, cups and a pitcher of water are nearby, to be used whenever hunger strikes.  The moms stay with or near the children, guiding them in the proper use of the materials (but in a more informal way than a primary class) and the one teacher floats about and makes suggestions as necessary.  The last 15 minutes of the 1.5 hour class is “circle time” for singing a few songs as a group.  It’s a good signal that class is about to end.

The materials they have are wonderful – I wanted to play with everything myself!  They have dozens of items: peg boards, scissors and paper, puzzles, paper and glue, a sensory table with beans, and Sam’s favorite: a small box with 5 beautiful marbled rocks in different colors.  She would shake the box and pour the rocks out on to the table in a controlled fashion, sort of like she was playing craps.  Then she would carefully put the 5 rocks in a line.  Then she would pick them up one at a time and drop them back in the box.  She repeated this exercise many times.  Who would have guessed that this would be the most interesting thing in the room?

Sam immediately understood the concept of taking one toy at a time, bringing it to a table or mat, and then returning it when finished.  She needed a reminder to put things away a couple of times, but it was great to see that this was not a foreign concept to her.  We clean up at home, but there is no one-toy-at-a-time rule and things get pretty messy every day.

Sam didn’t do as well with respecting others’ work.  She pushed and grabbed a few times.  Although this is “normal,” I’m really looking forward to more of this structured Montessori time where I can work on this with her.  I knew this was one big drawback to putting her in day care, where the practice seems to be to yell loud instructions across the room when a child does something really flagrant, like pushing another kid hard enough for him to fall down.  I’m not worried about Samantha in this area, though.  She is a very empathetic and orderly child and I’m sure with the right guidance, she’ll get the idea of taking turns and respecting others.

Just before circle time, the teacher took a bell and walked in a circle around the carpet.  The bell is one of my strongest memories from my own days in Montessori.  At circle time, we’d play “pass the bell.”  While sitting in a very large circle (well, we sat in a square around a carpet), one child would get the bell and have to walk with it to a child on another edge, without allowing the bell to ring, and then hand it to the next child. It was an exercise in concentration and body-control.  Today, the oldest girl in the class, who has been to a few primary classes, took the bell and tried to walk without ringing it.  I didn’t realize this was a Montessori tradition – I thought it was just my own particular teacher’s invention. 

Beyond all the other reasons I want Samantha to go to Montessori, it will be wonderful to share all of these traditions with her.  I look foward to all the memories that will surface in me as I watch her go through it.

I just mailed the check to secure Samantha’s spot in the Montessori school we chose.  I can’t wait for her to start.  And it turns out, I don’t have to.  They have a toddler program.  Starting Wednesday, once a week for 7 weeks, Sam will go to Montessori with me for about an hour and a half.   This is the perfect reason to reduce her day care time to 2 half days per week, which I’ve been wanting to do anyway to save money and also because I just don’t like this new day care as much as her first one.

I wish we could attend the Montessori program right before the school year starts, but they don’t have any summer programs at this school.  Still, it’s a good way for her to get used to the environment, and I’ll bet that I get some good ideas for nurturing her independence at home.  Speaking of which, check out this video (HT: Principled Parent) of a 20-month-old being raised by two Montessori-trained parents.  It’s a bit long but if you’ve never seen young toddlers acting this way, you might need the time to pick your jaw up off the floor.

I took notes, and here are the things I might try at home:

• Put Sam’s mattress on the floor.  We were just about to go from crib to toddler bed, so I’ll consider this option. 
• Put a step near her dining chair with booster seat so that she can climb up and down herself.  I’ve been struggling with how to help her do this independently, but I never thought of a stool for some reason.  (Sam is probably the same size as the 20-month-old in the video, so she is just too small to do many things kids her age normally do.)
• Set up a pitcher of water and cup on a low shelf in the kitchen for her to get her own drinks.  She is really bad at pouring so this will be good practice.
• Get her a backpack.  If a 20-month-old can carry one, even little Sam can too.

We’ve also always struggled with washing hands.  Sam loves to wash her hands and hates it when we help, but she can’t reach any sinks in the house, even when on a high stool.  I have to pull out the retractable faucet in the kitchen and she gets very angry about that.  (And when the sink is full of dirty dishes she just doesn’t get to wash her hands at all).  When we visited the Montessori school, we realized all we have to do is to set out a bowl of water, soap, sponge, and towel.  Sometimes you just don’t see the obvious solution!

One other thing I would note from that video:  I would never spend the amount of time necessary for Sam to “help” me in the kitchen as much as Edison did.  I try to let her help in ways that actually help me.  I’ll do a little extra work, like helping her wash her hands after cracking an egg, or asking her to get things for me from the cabinets, but spending that kind of time would be a sacrifice for me.  (I really have to finish my introductory post on Selfish Parenting.)  At a certain point, it feels very forced to let a child “help” when they are not really helping.  Edison seemed to do a good job, but when I’ve had Sam do similar things she just wants to play with the food.  She’ll help me wipe and dust and sweep all day, but when food is around she just wants to rub it all over her face.  Maybe that’s just a difference in different kids, but I’m not going for that one.

I love identifying examples of Samantha’s sense of order.  The world must still be something of a jumbled up flux to her, and she’s working so hard at integrating her experience into chunks she can deal with.  Socks must be put in the shoes before shoes are put away; bib must be on before beginning to eat; dolls must be on their tummies for “nap.”  Her rules, not mine.

This morning we were sitting at my computer.  I was reading blogs and she was sitting on my lap drawing with my pens.  I needed a bathroom break, so I told her I had to get up for a minute, and that she could draw more after I used the bathroom.  I started to take her off my lap, but she reached for the pens.  Instead of saying no, I waited to see what she would do.  She put the caps back on all 3 of the pens she had opened, and put them in the cup.  Then she was ready to get down. 

Just now, she picked up her Tupperware container of crayons, brought it to her table in the kitchen, colored something (I hope not the wall), and then brought the container back to its place on the shelf.

It’s very rare that I have to explain to Sam which things should go in the trash and which should not.  Same goes for the laundry basket, and the kitchen sink.  She seems to have picked it all up from watching me.

Maria Montessori and Cornelia Lockitch taught me about children’s need for order.  It seems to be common wisdom these days that kids need routine and structure in the events of their days, but they also need for things to have their place, and for this to be consistent.

It’s a great excuse for nagging the husband to put things away, too.

The last Montessori school I visited is going to be our top choice.  I didn’t get that, “this is the one” feeling when I observed the classroom, though - I thought the kids were flailing about too much and the environment wasn’t quite as attractive as one of the other 2 options on my list.  But they do indeed respect the 3 hour work cycle, as advertised.  Actually, it turns out to be more like 2 1/2 hours, but that time is uninterupted. 

Another thing I noticed was that the older children at this school were using the math beads, the moveable alphabet, and other reading and math tasks.  I didn’t see much of that at any of the other schools.

I’m a bit concerned about the ideological garbage at this school: environmentalism, multiculturalism, religion, and volunteerism.  They have one elementary class, and the kids “volunteer” at a soup kitchen or something.  The administrator spoke about how they try to get the kids to see that “it’s not all about them – that they are just a part of a community.”  This disturbs me, but I can’t say it’s any worse at this school than it would be anywhere. 

Our backup school is the one I that said felt cramped, but I ruled out the one with the more attractive environment because the tuition was quite a bit higher.

Now I have to figure out how in the world we can afford this.

I’ve now observed 4 Montessori schools.  The plan is for Samantha to start school next fall, which means I have to decide on a school and register her sometime between January and March.  Unfortunately, I’ve been at least a little bit disappointed with all the schools I’ve seen so far.  I’ve ruled out 2 schools, one of which ended up being too far away and one which was Montessori-lite and charged about 30% more than average to boot. 

Both of the others are acceptable.  They use Montessori materials and set up the classrooms attractively and properly.  The students at both schools acted independently, choosing their own work, focusing, and respecting the other children.  However, neither school has a true 3 hour work cycle.  Between the “occasional” Spanish class, art time, birthday parties, holiday celebrations, circle time, lunch time, and outside time, the time spent on the “work” of the Montessori method is fragmented.  At one school I also felt the classroom was too cramped and cluttered, and at the other, that the teachers were a bit too involved in the childrens’ work.  Of course, both schools propagandize the kids with religion and environmentalism, but not to an extent that I would reject them. 

Today I found a school that I’m really excited about.  I’m going to observe the classroom on Monday.  This school actually explains and defends the 3 hour work cycle on its web site.  Pictures of the classrooms bode well.  It has reasonable tuition and no other glaring problems.  I’ve got a feeling about this one and I can’t wait to see it.  It’s so exciting to be working on this aspect of Samantha’s future!