March 2009

You are currently browsing the monthly archive for March 2009.

The Only One

It’s nice to have a unique name:

HowManyOfMe.com
Logo There are
1
or fewer people with my name in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

(HT: Rational Jenn)

It’s actually quite convenient that I married a man with a rare name since I don’t have a middle name to distinguish me.  My parents thought it unnecessary, given that my maiden name is Afflerbach.  That fact accounts for my short first name as well, which I appreciated very much growing up, having to write Afflerbach over and over.  Thanks, Mom and Dad!

Adam doesn’t have a middle name either, but we did give Samantha a middle name, Miriam, after Adam’s mom who died about 13 years ago.  I’m not a fan of naming children after relatives, but this was a special case.

Speaking of names, it looks like Samantha might become a Sammy.  She calls herself Sammy most of the time, even though Adam and I use it rarely.  Now that she started it, though, we’ve been using Sammy more often.   Whatever you call her, she is unique.

Sneak

Here’s a quick video of Samantha.  I love the grunting as she runs in the other room to get her step stool.

Mysteries

If toddlers are so chubby, how can their knees and elbows be so sharp?

Book Reviews

I’m still working on the bible, but in the meantime, I’ve read a couple of other books I should note.

I read Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner for my book club and enjoyed it as light fiction.  The main character, Cannie, pines over the loss of a loser-boyfriend and finds that if she is going to recover and have a happy life, she needs to address her self-esteem issues.  Cannie is smart and likable, and the plot kept me interested.  The book had some juvenile elements to it – some hysterical-dumped-female moments and a fantasy trip to L.A. when Cannie sold a screenplay – but I could overlook that.  I’d give it a 7 out of 10.

Based on a recommendation from a friend, I skimmed Sleep: A Groundbreaking Guide to the Mysteries, the Problems, and the Solutions by Carlos H. Schenck to see if it might give me any ideas about my insomnia.  I found that it wasn’t really necessary to read it because my friend had already given me the best advice he had gleaned from it:  regulate your circadian rhythm by using blue light in the morning and blocking blue night at night using special glasses.  I’m going to try my full-spectrum light each morning and see if that alone will help. I won’t rate the book since I didn’t read the whole thing, but it seemed to have a really good overview of the wide range of sleep problems out there.  Interesting stuff!

Welcome to the March 19, 2009 edition of the Objectivist Round Up.  I’m honored to be hosting the Round Up for the very first time! 

For anyone unfamiliar with the ideas of Ayn Rand – where have you been?  Her epic novel, Atlas Shrugged, has been breaking even its own incredible sales records this year, and is currently in the top 10 on Amazon.com’s US Fiction and Literature categoryPundits are talking about Ayn Rand and Objectivism more than ever before.  Going Galt is the hot phrase of the moment on the internet.

In Atlas Shrugged, Rand tells a tale of the U.S. economy deteriorating at an ever-increasing rate due to government controls, which has obvious parallels to our situation today.  Rand offered a unique moral defense of capitalism in the novel and her other works, which is something many seem to be grasping for right now.  Ayn Rand explained that:

The moral justification of capitalism does not lie in the altruist claim that it represents the best way to achieve “the common good.” It is true that capitalism does—if that catch-phrase has any meaning—but this is merely a secondary consequence. The moral justification of capitalism lies in the fact that it is the only system consonant with man’s rational nature, that it protects man’s survival qua man, and that its ruling principle is: justice.

“What Is Capitalism?”  Capitalism, The Unknown Ideal

Still, Rand was much more than a political philosopher, and so are those of us who are informed by her ideas.  Today’s Round Up includes posts on parenting, sexuality, morality, health care, music, and of course, politics and economics.  Enjoy!

 

Burgess Laughlin presents Book Review: The Independent Scholar’s Handbook posted at Making Progress, saying, “This book review identifies potential values for three types of readers, each gaining from different elements of the book: (1) would-be independent scholars wanting to know proper methods; (2) students of recent history who would like to see the role non-academics played in creating today’s culture; and (3) intellectual activists intrigued by detailed examples of the careers of non-academic intellectual activists in the 1960s-1980s (the roots of our own time).”

Brad Williams presents The Austrian business cycle in one image posted at scripsit, saying, “Mish says: “[T]he only way 45% of the world’s wealth could vanish in a year is if it was a mirage in the first place.”"

Galileo Blogs presents The Case for Bankruptcy posted at Galileo Blogs, saying, “What is bankruptcy? What are the common fallacies of bankruptcy? Why is bankruptcy an essential feature of capitalism? It uses General Motors as an example.”

Amy Mossoff (that’s me!) presents Selfish Parenting posted at The Little Things, saying, “Can rational selfishness be a guide for making better parenting choices? This is the first post in a series which will explore that idea using concrete examples. Today’s example is the question of allowing a child to help with cooking family meals.”

Paul McKeever presents Paul McKeever’s Minimal Maxims and Bon Arrows, volume 1, issue 4 : Paul McKeever posted at Paul McKeever, saying, “four more thoughts for the week…including one cipher.”

Doug presents Colbert’s Distortion of Atlas Shrugged posted at Dark Waters Blogs.

Greg Perkins presents Challenging What Everybody Knows posted at NoodleFood, saying, “How do you quickly explain — or at least motivate further exploration of — subtle ideas that would challenge “what everybody knows”? It’s just hard, a skill to be practiced. That one can profit from “prudent predation” is one of those things that Everybody Knows. So what might an Objectivist say to shake a general audience’s confidence in the idea that predation is egoistic?”

Flibbert presents Men, Women, Birds, and Bees – Part 5 posted at Flibbertigibbet, saying, “I’ve finally posted the last in my series on masculinity and femininity in which I focus on the particular issue of homosexuality (my favorite!). Check it out!”

Francis Luong (Franco) presents My Subconscious Altruism Yardstick posted at Just Add Rationality, saying, “A wholly credible contextual backdrop to challenge people to seriously consider whether they believe they truly have a right to live for themselves or not.”

Francis Luong (Franco) presents Initial Thoughts on Going Galt posted at Just Add Rationality, saying, “That Rand’s ideas are making the media is good publicity. But if the publicity spreads a diluted or subverted version of Rand’s ideas then it will only serve to give power and credibility to our enemy. Consistency is key (to hell with Emerson).”

Ari Armstrong presents Beer Smash Protests Protectionism posted at FreeColorado.com, saying, “Colorado law prohibits grocery stores from selling regular beer to consenting adults. This protectionism is wrong.”

Paul Hsieh presents More Problems In Massachusetts Health Care posted at We Stand FIRM, saying, “The problems with Massachusetts’ system of “universal health care” are becoming increasingly obvious, even to the NY Times.”

Diana Hsieh presents Activism Against NAIS posted at NoodleFood, saying, “NAIS — the National Animal Identification System — is on the political horizon. It’s not just another statist intervention: it promises to put many small farmers out of existence. You can help prevent it.”

Rajesh Dhawan presents Living under socialism posted at Objective extrospection.

Grant Jones presents Tax Supported Indoctrination posted at The Dougout, saying, “On the manufacturing of mindless altruists by academia.”

Khartoum presents Desert Island Scenarios – Good Or Bad? posted at Philosophy, Law and Life., saying, “A desert island example greatly reduces the amount of perceptual data one requires in making a rational decision by scaling it down to the personal level. It could be a powerful tool for communicating an idea.”

John Drake presents Parenting as managing posted at Try Reason!, saying, “Parenting is a lot like managing. In this post, I explore some of the similarities.”

Rational Jenn presents Kids Handling Conflict posted at Rational Jenn, saying, “Even young children can learn rational ways to work out their differences.”

Rajesh Dhawan presents Why Democracy does not work- Idea cellular advertisement on TV posted at Objective extrospection.

Rajesh Dhawan presents Women in the special forces? posted at Objective extrospection.

Daniel presents Prokofiev’s “March”–More Tiddlywink Music posted at The Nearby Pen, saying, “Want to hear one of Ayn Rand’s “tiddlywink” songs? This is one of her favorite marches by Prokofiev–the one she would famously swing an arm to the music to (as if she was conducting).”

Jim Woods presents Grassley Just Wants You to Make Him Feel Better posted at Words by Woods, saying, “When he comes to businessmen, what would make Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) feel a little bit better?”

C. August presents Housing Glut? Open the Borders posted at Titanic Deck Chairs, saying, “One surprising solution to the housing crisis… more freedom.”

Michael Labeit presents On Free Trade and Marginal Utility posted at Philosophical Mortician, saying, “This second post in my free trade series focuses on how the law of marginal utility governs free trade.”

Ryan Krause presents Tax Bitch #1 posted at The Money Speech, saying, “A few interesting notes about the tax code you might not have known.”

 

That concludes this edition of the Objectivist Roundup. Next week’s host is Erosophia. Submit your blog article to the Objectivist Roundup using our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

 

Technorati tags: , .

He got a song too.  Happy birthday, buddy.

Ferocious Furry Friend

Samantha and I went to our first Montessori class today.  Since it is a 7-week session designed for toddlers, I thought that it would be full of moms and kids who were starting pre-school in the fall, just like me and Sam, but the school starts taking toddlers into this class as soon as they can walk, and some people repeat the 7-week session, so the ages ranged from 15 months to just-turned-three, and most of the kids had been to prior sessions.  I think there were about 8 children there today, but it varies from week to week.

The class was held in a room set up just like a Montessori classroom, but geared just a bit younger.  There are rolled up mats which the children use to define their own work space on the floor.  If they prefer a table, there are a few, all with just two chairs, one for mommy and one for the child.  There is a potty on the floor in the corner, but no pressure to use it.  The materials/toys are similar to a primary Montessori class, but a bit simpler.  Everything is on low shelves and the children pick what interests them, or they watch other children. There is also a big slide for those kids who just need to get their energy out.  There is a snack table with just two chairs, so the kids must take turns.  Bananas, plastic knives, napkins, cups and a pitcher of water are nearby, to be used whenever hunger strikes.  The moms stay with or near the children, guiding them in the proper use of the materials (but in a more informal way than a primary class) and the one teacher floats about and makes suggestions as necessary.  The last 15 minutes of the 1.5 hour class is “circle time” for singing a few songs as a group.  It’s a good signal that class is about to end.

The materials they have are wonderful – I wanted to play with everything myself!  They have dozens of items: peg boards, scissors and paper, puzzles, paper and glue, a sensory table with beans, and Sam’s favorite: a small box with 5 beautiful marbled rocks in different colors.  She would shake the box and pour the rocks out on to the table in a controlled fashion, sort of like she was playing craps.  Then she would carefully put the 5 rocks in a line.  Then she would pick them up one at a time and drop them back in the box.  She repeated this exercise many times.  Who would have guessed that this would be the most interesting thing in the room?

Sam immediately understood the concept of taking one toy at a time, bringing it to a table or mat, and then returning it when finished.  She needed a reminder to put things away a couple of times, but it was great to see that this was not a foreign concept to her.  We clean up at home, but there is no one-toy-at-a-time rule and things get pretty messy every day.

Sam didn’t do as well with respecting others’ work.  She pushed and grabbed a few times.  Although this is “normal,” I’m really looking forward to more of this structured Montessori time where I can work on this with her.  I knew this was one big drawback to putting her in day care, where the practice seems to be to yell loud instructions across the room when a child does something really flagrant, like pushing another kid hard enough for him to fall down.  I’m not worried about Samantha in this area, though.  She is a very empathetic and orderly child and I’m sure with the right guidance, she’ll get the idea of taking turns and respecting others.

Just before circle time, the teacher took a bell and walked in a circle around the carpet.  The bell is one of my strongest memories from my own days in Montessori.  At circle time, we’d play “pass the bell.”  While sitting in a very large circle (well, we sat in a square around a carpet), one child would get the bell and have to walk with it to a child on another edge, without allowing the bell to ring, and then hand it to the next child. It was an exercise in concentration and body-control.  Today, the oldest girl in the class, who has been to a few primary classes, took the bell and tried to walk without ringing it.  I didn’t realize this was a Montessori tradition – I thought it was just my own particular teacher’s invention. 

Beyond all the other reasons I want Samantha to go to Montessori, it will be wonderful to share all of these traditions with her.  I look foward to all the memories that will surface in me as I watch her go through it.

Samantha stepped on to my scale today and said, TEN O’CLOCK.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDPycDqEpT8[/youtube]

Mysteries

When do human beings lose the ability to drink lying down?  Samantha can still do it.

Since before my daughter was born, I’ve had this theory that much of good parenting comes from being selfish.*  Over and over, I have to make choices that most people see in terms of the conflicting interests of parent and child: whether to give up traveling for the sake of stability, whether to allow a child to sleep in ”the family bed,” whether to spend a lot of money on an expensive pre-school, etc.  In many of these cases, I seem to find an answer that does not require a sacrifice from anyone.  In fact, staying grounded in selfishness – in the pursuit of my own rational self interest – seems to help guide me in making these choices.

I want to try to explore this theory further by using my blog as a storehouse of experience.  I want to be inductive here, and to start collecting examples of how I’ve used selfishness as a guide.  I’ve been trying to write a meaningful introductory essay to kick off the experiment, but I keep getting stuck because I can’t prove this theory yet.  Saying that selfishness is a virtue is very abstract and while it implies that parents need to be selfish, is it a principle that can actually help guide parenting choices?  The only way to find out is to be inductive and start with concretes that I know.

So I’ll start with the latest example – something I mentioned in my last post about Montessori school.  I don’t let or encourage Samantha to “help” me with cooking very much.  Now, allowing a child to help with everyday life activities is something I believe in.  I agree with the Montessori way of including the child in the activities of the family.  But this principle is not helpful when you hold it in isolation from other principles.  It doesn’t tell you when a child is ready, or even how to think about when he might be ready.  It also doesn’t tell you how much effort you should be willing to put into nurturing this aspect of your child’s self-esteem. 

There is a cost to letting my 2-year-old “help” me cook.  At her developmental level, it would mean an enormous amount of extra time for me in preparation and clean-up, plus, paraphrasing the parents in the video, our meals might taste “different.”  When I first saw the video of Edison helping make a pizza, I thought, “I should probably be putting more effort into letting Sam help with the cooking.”  But my next thought was, “Nooooooooooooooooooooo!”  I already do all the cooking and cleaning in my household, and I have to be careful that those chores don’t take over my life.  Ok, so some would call this a conflict of interests.  Her gain is my loss, and I just have to decide if I’m going to be “selfish” or not.  And here’s where altruism gets you.  If you believe it is moral to sacrifice, the answer to this situation will be automatic: the parent should sacrifice for the child’s sake.  Not all parents will actually do it, but only on the grounds of a fuzzy thought such as, “I’m not a superhero,” or “nobody is perfect,” or “what about me?”

I started to think about why I was not interested in letting Sam help more.  There are certainly other areas where I do things “for her sake,” giving up values that are more strictly “for me,” because of the value she is to me and what it requires to raise her in the way that I want to.  But with this one, I analyzed (quickly, and almost subconsciously) the particulars of our situation: Sam is particularly good about playing by herself while I am cooking, so it becomes a “me-time” event, I am already doing many things to let Sam take care of herself and gain a sense of efficacy, and she is probably not developmentally ready to control her impulse to taste raw eggs and handle food in a structured way (since she can’t even do it at mealtime).  When I look at the whole picture, it turns out that my good and her good are probably more in sync than it first appears.  Since the general principle of nurturing her independence is already a value for me which I act on, this particular case is optional, and in my hierarchy of values (which includes nurturing her independence) this would be a sacrifice.  And maybe the amount of time it would take is an indicator that I would be pushing her too hard or too early.  After all, you can actually do harm to your child’s sense of efficacy when you expect her to do something too early, when she is simply not capable of it.  When you are adjusting your life to “suit” your child in ways that seriously interfere with your other values, you are creating a fake world for her.  The child is not fully formed and needs you to guide him, but he does not need his entire environment customized to his small self.  Montessori classrooms are exactly that – scaled to the child’s size – but that is just for a few hours a day.  At home and elsewhere, the child needs to live in reality, not in some fantasyland.

So I find my selfishness is guarding against doing too much for my daughter, even too much “guiding” towards independence. 

I notice that, along with selfishness, another idea guiding me here is the issue of holding context – I need to retain the whole of my value system, not isolate one issue.  That is another way to slip into duty.  I’ll have to keep that in mind as I continue to write up examples.

I’ve written much more than I intended here, but hopefully I’ll be able to essentialize these examples better as I go forward.  As with my Three Good Things exercise, I hope you’ll find some value in going on this journey with me.

 

I’m talking about Ayn Rand’s selfishness here:

The Objectivist ethics proudly advocates and upholds rational selfishness-which means: the values required for man’s survival qua man-which means: the values required for human survival …

The Objectivist ethics holds that human good does not require human sacrifices and cannot be achieved by the sacrifice of anyone to anyone. It holds that the rational interests of men do not clash-that there is no conflict of interests among men who do not desire the unearned, who do not make sacrifices nor accept them, who deal with one another as traders, giving value for value.

Ayn Rand, “The Objectivist Ethics,” The Virtue of Selfishness

 

Did you know that you’re supposed to clean the lint screen on your clothes dryer?  I don’t mean pulling the lint off each time you use it – I mean that you’re supposed to wash it with soap and water every 6 months.

As suggested, I checked mine and water passed through it very slowly, so I guess it did have a film built up over it that was impeding air flow.  I cleaned it and the water ran right through.  I think it has reduced drying time but it’s hard to tell for sure.  I need to try drying a load with the sensor – you know, “more dry/less dry.”  The sensor function hasn’t worked so I’ve  just been using the “timed dry” function, which was really annoying when I guessed the wrong amount of time needed and came back to a moldy load 3 days later. 

It took 5 minutes to clean the screen.  The hardest part was that it took a few weeks for the thought of cleaning it to coincide with being in the mood to do it and not having a load of laundry that needed to get in the dryer asap.

Three Good Things for the day:

  1. Samantha and I had a nice playdate with our neighbors. 
  2. I had a very relaxing day.  Besides the playdate, I had an hour-long nap and spent quite a bit of time reading while Sam played at something-or-other.
  3. Change is a good thing.  The Three Good Things exercise is growing a bit stale, both for me and the blog, so I’ll end it now before it becomes a chore.   I benefited from writing out the good things, especially on bad days, and I do think that I’ve built up quite a good habit of looking for these things and thinking about them objectively.  I don’t think I would have had the dedication to stick with it off-blog so who knows – I might end up doing more introspection exercises in public.  I was also tickled to see that I sparked a little trend on the blogosphere and I really appreciate all the nice comments I got about the thread.  Thanks for listening!

Contrast

Yesterday, while Samantha and I were leaving day care, we were in the lobby with a mom with 2 kids, about 5 and 1 years old, probably.  The kids were getting their packages of crackers from the bowl they keep in the lobby.  The other mom was distracted, talking to the receptionist, but when she turned around and saw that her older child had picked out only one package of crackers she said, “You didn’t get one for your sister!  Get one for your sister right now!  Remember what we said about being selfish.”

Today Samantha had a play date with our next door neighbor and her daughter.  C.’s mom encouraged C. to use polite language, share, and take turns.  She used phrases like, “What’s a nice thing to say when somebody gives you something?” and, “When you want to play with somebody else’s toy, you can ask them.”  

Just an observation. No further comment necessary.

Three Good Things for the day:

  1. The library.
  2. Walking my dog.
  3. Family dinner.

« Older entries § Newer entries »