April 2009

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As you can probably tell from my recent posts, Samantha is quite a talker now.  Her soliloquies are much more sophisticated than the series of nouns she used to string together.  I’ve been having a hard time recording her speeches because they are too long to remember, but I got this one down the other day, pretty much verbatim, as she went around the house looking for the cat, whom she likes to kiss when she’s feeling blue:

KISS JINX. MAKE FEEL BETTER. CAN’T FIND JINX ANYWHERE. MAYBE JINX UPSTAIRS HIDING. JINX WENT AWAY. JINX KITCHEN? NO. JINX BATHROOM? NO. JINX BASEMENT? JINX COME!  JINX! JINX!  COME HERE! JINX NOT BASEMENT.  CAN’T FIND JINX.

“Can’t find Jinx anywhere.”  “Maybe Jinx upstairs hiding.”  Wow!  That blew me away!

(And, yes, I helped her to find Jinx, who was upstairs the whole time.)

I told Sam that something was crooked and she repeated the word:  CROOKED.  It reminded me of a nursery rhyme, which I attempted to tell her:  “There was a crooked man and he lived in a crooked house and he had a crooked cat and it found a crooked mouse.” 

MORE, MOMMY!

Sorry, I don’t remember the rest.

THINK ABOUT IT, MOMMY.

Samantha is learning how to take turns!  After a few Montessori classes, I can see the light bulb going off.  

She really likes to play with a particular toy at Montessori:  a low, flat box full of hard clay, with golf tees and a mallet with which to pound them into the clay.  This week, the clay toy came to her attention when she saw another girl pick it up.  She went over to grab at it, and I did my usual explanation of how the other girl had chosen it and Sam could have a turn when she was finished.  Sam didn’t protest, and went on to work on a puzzle.  But in the middle of it, she leapt down from her chair and raced away.  When I looked up, I saw that she was picking up the clay toy just as the other girl returned it to its shelf.  She had her eye on that toy the whole time!  And since that lesson was the most important at the moment, I didn’t call her back to put away the puzzle, but went with her and told her that THAT was called taking turns.  Ok, so I probably praised her too.  I’m still working on less praise and more description.  But I was so pleased!

Round Up

I’m a bit late with the news, but here is the latest Objectivist Round Up, hosted by Tito’s Blog.

Mysteries

How does a 27 pound human being make that much noise just walking across a wood floor?

NO PEEING ON THE FLOOR.

NO PEEING ON THE DOOR.

Right!  What else?

NO PEEING ON THE WALL.

NO PEEING ON MOMMY.

Drama Queen

So I’m unloading the dishwasher and Sam is in one of her moods and wants attention.  What does she do?  She runs around until she falls down and hurts herself.  I walk by without comment and she screams and lifts her arms, asking me to pick her up.  No such luck, girlie.  As I’m putting the dishes in a cabinet, she gets up, runs after me, and screams again.  I say, “I see that you were able to get up on your own.”  That silences her immediately.  After a moment of thought, she runs and falls on her face again.  I walk by once more, saying, “I’m not playing that game.”  As she is howling and screaming and whining, I can just make out her words, YES, PLAY THAT GAME, MOMMY. PLAY THAT GAME.

I swear, I’m working on the not-laughing thing.

I LOVE IT!

What do you love?

I LOVE ICE CREAM.  REALLY COLD.  SOMETIMES EAT ICE CREAM.  SOMETIMES EAT CAKE.  LITTLE BOY EAT CAKE.

Did you know that Tweeting can make you immoral?  It’s true, say some scientists.  Here are some excellent points that you just can’t dispute:

…[R]apid-fire news updates and instant social interaction are too fast for the ‘moral compass’ of the brain to process.

…[H]eavy Twitters and Facebook users could become ‘indifferent to human suffering’.

Celebrities of all types – from rugby players to chefs to pop stars – are becoming hooked on the instant updates [and we know celebs are BAD].

‘Lasting compassion in relationship to psychological suffering requires a level of persistent, emotional attention.’

I feel really bad when I see roadkill.  Does that make me moral?  Sometimes I spend minutes upon minutes thinking about the suffering of everyone who ever watched a Michael Moore documentary.  I must be really good.  But those kids today – they’re just moving too darn fast.  I know cuz I have that science stuff to back me up:

The study used compelling, real-life stories to induce admiration for virtue or skill, or compassion for physical or social pain, in 13 volunteers.

 

We had such a nice morning with Rational Jenn and her family last week.  We just hung out while the kids played for a couple of hours.  There were a million things I wanted to talk to her about and didn’t have the time.  It’s pretty nice to make friends over the blogosphere; normally it would take me a couple of years to become that comfortable with someone.   

The kids got along great.  I had forgotten that Jenn’s son is a bit afraid of dogs, but luckily we had put Toby in his crate before they arrived.  Ryan was visibly nervous when he arrived to the sound of a barking dog.  Toby, although he is the friendliest dog ever, can sound pretty scary!  Paradoxically, everyone immediately falls in love with Jinx, who is the real terror. 

Adam is so good with kids and animals that I think he kind of took it upon himself to cure Ryan of his fear.  First, he helped ease Ryan into petting Toby through the crate.  Then he had Ryan stand on top of a trunk where Toby couldn’t jump on him, and he opened the crate while making Toby stay inside.  Then he called Toby out in a controlled way (I think he used the leash, too) and made him sit again.  Adam showed Ryan how Toby obeyed his commands.  Ryan liked it when Adam sent Toby up and down the stairs over and over just to show that he would do it.  Ryan was not “cured,” but by the end of the morning he was able to handle being in the same room with Toby loose, which was awesome to see.  Yea, Ryan! 

I was pretty proud of my dog.  As we always say, “Toby: he’s a licker and a lover, not a fighter and a biter.”

But I was even more proud of Adam.  I wasn’t paying that much attention to the whole thing, but I know how he is - he is so empathetic and patient – it’s what makes him a great dad.  Come to think of it, that must be where Samantha gets her strong sense of empathy!  I never made that connection before.  Neat!

Ayn Rand said that concepts represent, “condensations of knowledge, which make further study and the division of cognitive labor possible.”  (Ayn Rand, Introduction to Objectivist Epistemology)  We form concepts so that we can hold an unlimited number of concretes as one unit in our minds:

In any given moment, concepts enable man to hold in the focus of his conscious awareness much more than his purely perceptual capacity would permit. The range of man’s perceptual awareness—the number of percepts he can deal with at any one time—is limited. He may be able to visualize four or five units—as, for instance, five trees. He cannot visualize a hundred trees or a distance of ten light-years. It is only his conceptual faculty that makes it possible for him to deal with knowledge of that kind.

Ayn Rand, “The Psycho-Epistemology of Art,” The Romantic Manifesto

In every field, there are concepts called, “terms of art.”  These are concepts necessary in that field, but not to the public at large.  Lawyers have a million of them.  In parenting, there are some shared terms of art, but I have the sense that many families make up their own.  A bit of humor is almost always part of the mix.  It’s no different with us.  Adam and I have two favorite made-up concepts, both of which are acronyms:  TOOMA and LWEA (pronounced la-wee-ya).

TOOMA is “theorizing-out-of-my-ass,” and we made it up when Sam was a tiny baby, when we found that we were going off the deep end with “maybe’s” about why she was doing anything other than being a blob.  “Why is she making those bubbles?  Maybe she is teething.  Maybe she is congested. Maybe she is autistic.  Ah, shit, I’m TOOMA-ing again!”

LWEA is a more recent development.  It stands for “leave-well-enough-alone,” and although this seems like a simple idea, we’ve found that having a distinct concept helps a lot, and that it’s slightly different than the common phrase.  I find that quite often I want to ask Sam questions, or show her something interesting, or see how she might handle something, so I interrupt what she is doing to ask, show, or give.  But when she is busy with something, I should really leave her alone.  It’s better for her not to be interrupted, and when she is happily occupied, the selfish thing to do is to leave her alone and do something for myself!  “Hey Sam. Hey!  Do you want to see this video of a whale on YouTube?  Sam?  Hello?  Ah, shit, LWEA!”

What are your unique parenting concepts?

Here is the second story that my aunt transcribed from my grandmother’s writings - this one about her experience in the classic one-room schoolhouse.  I loved to learn that she skipped a grade and was not fond of physiology, just as I skipped a grade and hated all the memorization of my 7th grade biology class.

 

My Year in a One-Room School

by Mary Afflerbach

When I was ten year old, my older brother contracted tuberculosis and leaving his job in New York City he came home to try and regain his health.  Thereupon, my parents moved back to the rural upstate Pennsylvania community where they had grown up, in the hope that the mountain air would prove therapeutic for my brother.  There were no miracle drugs at that time and the only treatment for tuberculosis was fresh air, good nourishing food and rest.

As the disease was known to be highly infectious, I was packed off to live with Aunt Mary and Uncle Will, who lived on a farm a short distance up the road, and thus, I entered the sixth grade at the country school about a half-mile away.

The schoolhouse to which I went was a small, white-painted frame building with a short bell-tower.  The bell was rung to summon us inside for the start of the day’s work and at the end of lunchtime and recess.  Inside the building there was a row and a half of double desks, starting at the front with the smallest and increasing in size as they went toward the back.  As you were promoted from one grade to the next, you moved back a row to a larger desk.  Everyone had a seatmate.  I didn’t like the girl I sat with very much.

Behind the short row of seats was a Franklin stove which provided heat for the building in winter.  In front of the teacher’s desk was a bench to which each grade in turn was called to recite.  On the wall above the blackboard were large framed pictures of Washington and Lincoln, and on the side wall a classic schoolhouse clock on which the hands moved ever so slowly toward 4 o’clock, the end of the school day.

There was no electricity or indoor plumbing; the toilets were in a double outhouse, one side for the boys, the other for the girls.  Every morning one of the older boys was dispatched to a nearby farmhouse to bring a fresh bucket of water for drinking.  We each had our own collapsible metal cup which we filled from a dipper that hung by the water bucket.

The schoolhouse sat on a plot of about a quarter-acre and this was our playground.  In fine weather we played our version of baseball or tag or various circle games during lunch time and recess.  In winter we all gathered around the stove and had informal classes there.

Our teacher was Mrs. Fitch, a petite young woman who had grown up, and still lived on a nearby farm and consequently was well-acquainted with all her pupils.  She was something of an exception, the school board not looking with favor on married woman teachers, but since she was still childless and possibly because her family had some clout in the community, she was allowed to continue to teach.  She was a graduate of “Normal School,” which was the forerunner of the State Teachers Colleges, which eventually became the regional State Colleges and Universities of today.  she was friendly and kind, and taught with a quiet dignity and firmness, and I remember no time when her discipline was challenged, even by the 15 year old boys who ere repeating the 8th grade because the law said they had to got to school until they were 16.

As an example of her dedication, I remember a morning after a big snow storm when I trudged through knee-deep snow to attend school, to find no one there except the teacher.  As we had no telephone, she had no way to let me know that school was cancelled, and believing that I might come to school despite the snow, she made her way to the school and kindled a fire so that I might get warm before starting back home.

The year I attended Sugar Point School there were about 15 pupils, ranging in age from 6 to 15, divided among 8 grades, although I am not sure that every grade was represented.  One boy and I comprised the 6th grade.  The school day began with the teacher reading from the Bible, followed by our recitation of the Lord’s Prayer and the Pledge of Allegiance.  Then starting with the first grade, each class was called to the front to recite.  The first grade learned the sounds of the letters and to read by phonics.  They also learned numbers, writing and spelling.  Each day I had arithmetic, reading spelling, grammar, geography and history.  Since I was a quick study, I listened in on the higher grades and by the time the term ended, I was doing 7th grade work and was promoted to the 8th grade.

Once a week we had physiology and Palmer method writing.  Physiology was my least favorite subject because there were so many things to memorize, such as the names of all the bones in the body.  I never got very good at making those perfect loops and circles by arm movement, either.  Every Friday we had a spelling bee.  Everyone participated, the younger pupils being given easier words.  We stood half on either side of the room until we were “spelled down” by missing a word.   I don’t remember if I was the last one standing, but I don’t think I was ever the first to go down.

I enjoyed the intimacy of the school and I am sure I learned some basics there.  There was a lot of rote learning, but it was probably good memory training.  Of course the year was overshadowed by my brother’s illness and my separation from my family, although I did see them frequently.  Shortly after the school year ended, my brother died and we moved back to the city.  The next year I went to a conventionally graded school, but I always appreciated having the unique experience of my year in a one-room country school.

Samantha had her first asparagus pee.

This week’s Round Up can be found at Titanic Deck Chairs.

We have three social events this weekend.  Tomorrow, fellow Objectivist mommy blogger Rational Jenn and her family are coming to visit.  I feel like I’m going to meet a celebrity!  Saturday, we’re spending the day with a friend from Taiwan who is town on business.  I only wish his wife and son could have come too but it’s going to be great to see him again.  Sunday, we’re celebrating a local friend’s birthday by watching some DVDs and getting some sushi for dinner.

I’m exhausted already!

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