Over Thanksgiving we took the whole brood on our first trip since Zoe and Leo were born. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a happy occasion – we were visiting Adam’s dad at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. He recently underwent a Whipple procedure – the same surgery that Steve Jobs had – for pancreatic cancer.

Still, the trip was good because it was a trial run for future traveling. We learned quite a bit, and it wasn’t as hard as we thought it would be. Of course, Baltimore is only an hour and a half car ride away and we only stayed two nights. We got there in one nap. No airport, no feedings on the road, not even a pit stop for the adults. Still, the packing and planning weren’t all that much worse than a trip with Sam. Make a list and take a whole day to pack – no problem! However, it was a bit shocking to realize how much formula we had to bring along, even though I’m breastfeeding about 40%. It’s also a little scary because the formula we use (specifically for preemies) is not sold in stores but most be ordered through the mail. I suppose if we did run out, we could have just bought some regular formula. But the whole world of formula is still new to me and man, it sure is a hassle when you travel!

We also had some trouble with the sleeping arrangements. We got a suite with two beds and a sofabed, and brought the Pack’N'Play for the twins. But they were really too big to sleep in it together, so we ended up getting a second from the hotel. It was musical beds the whole two days and I have a feeling that’s the way it will be each time. Each place we stay will be a new challenge, as will every age of the babies. Okay, we know that now and we’ll deal with it.

Leo had one meltdown, but otherwise all three kids did a great job. Poor Sam. She’s used to going on trips and doing new and exciting things. We told her that there was an indoor pool and we packed our suits, which was a huge mistake. It was almost impossible for Adam to even get out of the room to visit his dad, let alone go out for frolicking. But we did manage to get her to the pool once, and to take her on a walk along the water where she got to feed the seagulls. That, plus endless TV time, got her through 48 hours.

And here is the biggest shocker: I felt like I had a vacation! I stayed in the room almost the entire time. I fed babies and changed diapers, but I didn’t have to wash dishes or fold laundry or make lunch or pay bills or give children baths or take Sam to gymnastics or write thank you cards or any of that stuff. And since the hotel room was a new environment for Leo and Zoe, they seemed to need nothing more than a few minutes on their playmat and they were ready for their naps. Sam got on my nerves the first night before we figured out that getting her out of the room was just as essential as breathing and eating, but after that it was okay. Almost restful. But really, in two full days, Adam made it to visit his dad only twice for an hour or so each time, and then once again on our way out of town. I suppose if we go on a trip where we actually expect to do something other than sit in a hotel room, it will be much more difficult.

So, we didn’t really have a Thanksgiving this year. We called for room service Thursday night at 6:30pm and the hotel told us that they had a free Thanksgiving dinner available in the restaurant, but only until 7. Adam explained that we had newborn twins and there was no way we could get out of the room that quickly, so they allowed him to come down and pick up some food to bring up to the room. So we had turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce and it was all really, really good! And free! Only in America. I’m thankful to live in a country of such abundance and benevolence. And one in which there are Whipple procedures. And formula just for preemies.

I guess we did have Thanksgiving, after all.

Constant change is here to stay…

Leo and Zoe have left infancy behind and are solidly on baby ground. I can’t believe we got through the first three months already! Unfortunately, things aren’t really getting easier at this point. It’s more of a mixed bag. Sure, they are cuter and more interesting now, feedings are shorter and less frequent, nighttime sleep is longer, and they aren’t so delicate, but the rapid rate of change is often leaving me confused. Should I keep them awake more? Is this a growth spurt or what? Can they handle a road trip? And what the heck do I do when there is no “they,” but when one has completely different needs than the other? When things change so quickly, having two babies becomes more than double the work. All the little facts that I need to keep in my head about each baby can be overwhelming.

Still, we love these two little beings. They are each so awesome in their own ways, and they are special as a pair as well. Here are some highlights from the last month.

We finally got Leo’s reflux under control and he is a much happier baby! Now we can see which parts of his personality were due to the pain he was in. He is still very physical, but he is not so squirmy anymore. In fact, Zoe might be the squirmy one at this point. He is also not always the first one to cry. Zoe is still the calmer of the two, but I wouldn’t call Leo a spitfire anymore. What a relief that he isn’t in constant pain! And what a relief that we can put him on his back to sleep again. No more car seat in the crib. That was a huge hassle. Also, how freaking cute is this?

Leo is also a happier guy now that he has found his thumb. I can’t believe how cute I find the thumbsucking. It was especially endearing to watch him struggle to get it. Here’s a video of him working on it right before he mastered the skill. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try to keep up with trimming his nails, he seems to cut up his nose and face while sucking his thumb.

Leo rolled over once, from his tummy to his back. Again, it was super-awesome to watch him struggle and succeed. I don’t know if he’ll be doing it regularly, though. He hasn’t been able to repeat it since. I remember Sam did the same thing – rolled over very early but then lost the skill for quite a while.

Zoe, on the other hand, seems almost ready to roll over from her back to her tummy. She likes to sleep on her side, so she can get into that position quite easily, and it’s not too much of a leap for her to keep going. Turning over onto the tummy is a more advanced skill than Leo’s way, but some babies do accomplish it first. It’s all about values!

Zoe’s “toaster head” seems to be diminishing. Her skull and face are a bit rounder instead of rectangular. This makes her a whole lot cuter. And I suppose I’m shallow, but the cuter she gets, the more I love her. Hey, they don’t do all that much yet so how they look is relatively more important than it will be later, right???

Both Zoe and Leo started out with the standard Caucasian baby dark blue eyes. But Leo’s are getting lighter and brighter, and Zoe’s are becoming a murky color which sometimes looks green. I’m sure Leo will end up with blue eyes and Zoe with brown. And their hair color seems to have stuck so far: Leo has a dark blond, and Zoe has a rich brown. Oh, they look nothing alike and I love it that way!

Both Zoe and Leo are working with their hands. Leo is a bit ahead, batting hanging objects around with abandon and occasionally grabbing them. Zoe can’t grab as well, and you can tell she is less interested in working on it. Her interest lies in the mirror. She can look at herself for an hour and be perfectly content, making her sweet cooing noises. She is also more interested than Leo in other people’s faces, and continues to have that searching, questioning gaze that she has had from birth. Only now she’ll punctuate her staring with smiles and coos, especially with Sam. Zoe is seriously in love with her big sister. Leo is working on his vision also, be he tends to like the patterns on his mobile more than faces. What do you know, I even have a photo to show the difference between them:

Maybe the most exciting development is that the twins became aware of each other this month! We can lie them down next to each other and sometimes they’ll look at each other and coo and make faces. Sometimes they try to touch each other. One time, they were lying this way and I gave Zoe a sucker. As she began to suck on it, Leo started making sucking noises, too. I tried to give him his sucker but he didn’t want it. He was just relating to Zoe! That right there makes having twins worth all the extra effort.

Both Leo and Zoe will put a bit of weight on their feet. Leo much more so than Zoe. But they both do it and it’s new to me. I don’t think Sam did this at all until she was about a year old. Maybe we won’t have late-walkers this time around, although I’m not sure that’s such a good thing. Sam’s way was very pleasant. But who knows, maybe Leo and Zoe will actually crawl. (Sam never crawled, but just scooted on her bottom.) I’d love to have crawlers.

Leo has slept through the night twice, and Zoe has done it once. And I’m not talking about the 5-6 hours that Babycenter.com thinks counts as sleeping through the night. Pshaw. My awesome kids have been doing that for weeks. I say it only counts if the adult goes to sleep and wakes up in the morning without having had fed the baby. To my dismay, Adam has reaped the rewards of all three instances – we trade off babies at night and it was his turn each time. I’m sure my time will come.

I continue to call Zoe “Zo-Zo” and it still fits. Adam calls her “ZZ-Top,” or just “Z.” Sammy made up the combined nickname of “ZZ-Top and Leo-Bop,” but otherwise we don’t have any real nicknames for Leo. Sometimes we call him our Lion, but that’s more of a term of endearment. And then there are the accidentals. Adam calls me Sam when he is angry at me (ha!). Sam mixes up Leo and Zoe occasionally. I’ve accidentally called Zoe both “Sammy” and “Chloe” (a friend of Sam’s). And Leo? For some reason, I have more than once accidentally called him “puppy.” It comes out of me just like Zo-Zo does for Zoe. I think I might just go with it, strange as it is.

Here they are, our emergent children:

 

My neighbors are done bringing me dinners. Tonight I cooked! Pork with peanut-apricot crust and sweet potato fries. The food was good. The cooking was heaven.

This week, I took Zoe and Leo to the mall for the very first time. We strolled around, I bought a gift and a new winter coat, and I had lunch. I was very proud of myself for getting them out and having such a nice time doing it. But as I was changing my first diaper in a public restroom in about three years, I realized that by this age, Sam had not only been to the mall many times, but she had been to Arizona and Playa del Carmen, Mexico. She had flown on airplanes, hiked through the desert (well, okay, in her stroller), ridden on buses, and had even taken a ride on a catamaran. She had dipped her toes into the Caribbean Sea. By three months, Adam and I were experienced not only in changing diapers in public restrooms, but in changing them in tiny airplane bathrooms and on countertops in hotel lobbies.

Of course, those types of experiences are totally irrelevant to a baby. What is different is the experience for us, the parents. With Sam, we were determined not to let our baby interfere with our travels and adventures, and that was good. But with two babies and an older child, I am determined to do as little as possible, and to take things as slowly as possible. And that is working out well this time around. I know that we’re going to have countless adventures together, all five of us, and this time I don’t need to prove it to myself. This time, I can allow myself to take a time out from those things, and just relax and get to know these two little beings in peace.

Continuing the tradition of putting every little detail of my life on this blog, here’s my latest plan: When I reach my weight-loss goal, I’ll reward myself with liposuction. It seems like a strange reward, but I think the only way I’m going to be motivated to lose any weight in the first place is to know that if I get most of the way there, I’ll have help for the hardest part.

After my final miscarriage fourteen months ago, Adam and I decided two things: we would make the trip to Italy, and I would get liposuction. We did the first, but I put off the second because I realized if there was any chance that I’d be pregnant again, it would be a waste. Well, now I’m done with pregnancy, and I’m putting that goal back on the agenda. Re-reading the post that discusses that decision makes me realize how far we’ve come in the past year. We went through so much, but now we’re here. I’m watching the babies on the video monitor right now. We had our most excellent honeymoon in Italy. And we’re no longer in limbo; the world is open once again to the pursuit of new values.

Anyway, I see the weight-loss as the final chapter in the struggle against the negatives of the past two-and-a-half years of my life. I only gained 47 pounds during the pregnancy itself (yes, with twins, 47 can be called “only”), but there were also the 12 that I had gained during the miscarriages. And then, there were the 10 that I never lost after my pregnancy with Sam. Add all that up on top of the 128 I was at originally and I was at a maximum of 197 pounds! I don’t think I’ll ever get back down to 128 (or the 115 that was ideal in my twenties); I think 130 is a reasonable weight at my age. So, I’m shooting to get myself down to 140 before I’ll get the lipo.

I lost about 27 pounds after the twins were born without any effort, leaving me at 170. I hovered there for weeks, and that’s when I knew I was going to have to put some serious effort into this project. There is no way I’m going to allow myself to remain at this weight!

I’ve never really lost weight before on purpose. One time I lost a few pounds by cutting out snacks after dinner and all sugary beverages for a couple of months. But that is the extent of my dieting experience. Since I had success with that method, I’m using it again and I’ve lost about 3 pounds. But it’s slow going because I’ve been eating tons of sweets lately. Besides the Halloween candy, I’ve also had dessert almost every night because my neighbors have been bringing us dinners. I mean, I’m not complaining: I haven’t had to cook for a month because of the generosity of my neighbors (and before that I had other gifts of food and my mom was in town). But most of them have brought these huge desserts – cakes, cookies, fudge, etc. And it’s hard to resist when it’s in the house and my lactating body is just screaming out for calories of any kind.

That is all coming to an end now, so hopefully I’ll see some improvement in my efforts. I’ll be cooking my own meals and not buying any sweets to tempt me. Exercise is also on the agenda, but honestly, I’m not sure I can fit that in yet. I don’t have a goal date in mind – I’ll be happy if I can just see a continuous improvement. But May or June would be good. Then it’s mommy-makeover for me. Hopefully there will be enough money left over to buy yet another new wardrobe.

This morning, I discussed with Sammy, for the very first time, the fact that she might get into fights and arguments with her brother and sister when they get older. Here was part of our conversation:

Me: So, for instance, you might be playing with a toy, and Leo might come over and say, “I want that!” and try to grab it away from you. But it’s your toy and you want to play with it and you don’t want him to have it. What do you think you would do then?

Sam: Hmmm. I think I would tell him that there are a lot of toddler toys he can play with on his toy shelf and try to give him one.

Me: Wow, that’s a great idea! I think that might work because toddlers are easily distracted. Now, we also have a lot of toys and things in the house that we all share. Like that book over there. That is not your property – it’s for everyone in the house to read. What would you do if both you and Zoe wanted to read it at the same time?

Sam: Hmmm. I think I would tell her that I could read it and she could look at the pictures.

Me: Wow, I didn’t even think of that one. Good thinking.

These were her own, original thoughts, based on all the principles we’ve been modeling and teaching her for the past few years. I was so impressed, not just with the content of her ideas, but with her conceptual ability. Normally, she is the “grabber” and Adam and I are the ones who suggest these kind of ideas, but she applied it all to this new situation.

None of this means that she’ll actually do these things in the heat of the moment – that’s something she’ll have to work on when the time comes. But she has a solid foundation for the challenges of cooperation and conflict resolution. Not bad for a kid who was an only child for five years! It’s nice to be reminded that, though I’m still confused and struggle with parenting issues all the time, I’m doing a damn good job.

After writing my last post, I realized that Sammy is now at an age where I really should get her permission before writing all these personal details about her online. She still doesn’t understand “online,” but she does understand that I write stories for my friends. So after the last post, I asked her if it was okay for me to write stories about her and let my friends read them. She said No.

Wow. Okay. So I told her that from now on I would read the story to her first and ask her if it was okay to share. She agreed. I read her the diaper story and she loved it and said, “Mommy, thank you for writing that story about me.” Whew.

So there might be a little less Sammy content here from now on, and I fear that my presentation will be altered because no matter how up front and honest I am with her, it’s different when there is a little Sammy sitting on my shoulder as I write. I’ll use my judgment to decide when I should seek her approval. I mean, I’m not going to read her every post that mentions her. But if I’m going to talk about toilet training or yeast infections or problems in school, well, she handles a lot of those issues on her own, so I think she is entitled to say that they are her private business. Good timing, actually, since I have two new little ones to exploit.  Ha ha.

And yes, this post has Sam’s approval!

Sammy just reached her last baby milestone: she is done with nighttime diapers. Last night she had her first dry night.

We had so much trouble with potty training with Sam that I just couldn’t bring myself to push her on the nighttime thing, even though five years old seems way too old for diapers. We talked her into trying a couple of times over the past year, but she wasn’t excited about it and she didn’t even wake up when her bed was soaked.

Then, suddenly, she was ready, and she asked to wear her special underwear (training pants). She didn’t wear them every night at first, and sometimes she would wear them to start out, but then she’d change into a diaper in the middle of the night rather than use the potty. I allowed her to do it her way. I suppose she might not be completely done with the diapers. I’ll leave them in her drawer and let her decide. But her first dry night is such a big deal.

She’s peed in the underwear a few times but they have some absorbency, so only once have we had to change her sheets. (And it was cleaning day so the maids actually did it for us!)  I’m sure there will be some middle of the night changing of sheets in our future, but what a relief that we’ve gotten this far without that ugly chore.

I am using rewards for this because I promised it to her a long time ago and a deal is a deal. We gave her a star for a dry night and when she gets three in a row we’ll go out for ice cream. But I know that isn’t what is motivating her, or else she would have done this long ago. She’s just finally ready.

And that is our Sam in a nutshell. She does things on her own timetable, and that typically is slower than most children. But nothing we can say or do will speed her up. Then, when she finally chooses to do something, she does it expertly.

Another lesson to note for homeschooling.

Well, as my Facebook friends know, we had to put our cat to sleep today. I won’t bore you with the reasons and details – it’s always sad and always hard to make this decision. But I did want to note here that we were completely up front with Sam about the whole thing, from the decision-making process to the meaning of death. Sam even went to the vet with Adam for the procedure. She had intended to watch, but at the last minute, decided she didn’t want to see him actually die. She saw the first injection that relaxed him, then left the room for the fatal injection. Then she came back in after he was dead and petted him a little bit. She saw that he was not moving and that his eyes were still open.

I’m really glad we allowed her to choose what she would experience. If she hadn’t gone to the vet at all, I don’t think it would have been as real for her. And I was gratified that she was so independent in deciding what she wanted to see and what she didn’t. I asked her if she felt sad but she said that she was really just curious about it.

I was really worried about how she would take this. She loved that cat. She tormented him constantly, but that was just the form of her love. She spent much more time with Jinx that Adam or I did. But the thing is, she doesn’t seem too bothered by his death at all. I’m sure it will sink in a bit more as days go by and he isn’t here anymore. But she hasn’t shed a tear or even expressed any sadness. The worst thing for her seems to be seeing me cry. (I’m a big baby right now because of the hormones.) And one of the first things she said when she got home from the vet was “Mommy, now that Jinxie died, I hope that we can get a new cat. And when Toby dies, I hope we can get a new dog.” I don’t know if I should worry at her callousness, or if I should respect her value-focus.

Anyway, we had lots of good talks in the past week about death, expressing emotions, respect for life, kindness to living creatures, the meaning of pets, and how important it is not to allow the investment in your home be destroyed by the smell of cat urine.

Jokes aside, it was a sad day. Goodbye, Jinx.

Alone Time

This afternoon, Adam and our babysitter took over so I could get out of the house on my own. It was the best three hours I’ve had in a long time. I:

  • went shopping at Bed, Bath, and Beyond and found lots of great accessories for our new master bathroom
  • got the best massage of my entire life
  • bought a roasted chicken for dinner, on sale for five bucks
  • put gas in the car
  • enjoyed the fall colors on a beautiful drive through the winding roads near our house
  • caught “Cum on Feel the Noise,” “Safety Dance,” and “Dance the Night Away” on the radio and sung them all as loudly and as badly as I wanted to

Bliss.

 

Well, five months later, I’m finally continuing my travel journal chronicling our Italy trip. (I’ve been a little bit busy.) Be sure to read the first three installments, or re-read them just to get back into the mood. I did!

The middle leg of our Italy vacation was the road trip. We were driving from Rome to Florence which is only a three hour drive, but we decided to take it slow and explore for a couple of days along the way.

First, we had to get our rental car. I was nervous about this part, but it ended up being very easy. We got a car seat for Sam, and everything worked in a similar way as it does in the U.S. Adam was the designated driver, but we both had been observing the traffic in Rome and it didn’t seem to be as bad as some had made it out to be. Still, there was a lot to get used to. Adam had studied all the road signs so even when we couldn’t read the Italian, we usually knew what was going on, and we got good directions from the people at the rental place. It helps that Italian is a Romance language so we could decipher some of the more unusual signs. (Otherwise, I’m not sure would have ever escaped the endless loop our GPS took us through the following day, until we noticed the sign saying, “Deviazione.” It made me feel pretty smart to figure that one out. I could only imagine what it would be like to drive in China.)  We got out of the city and onto the highway with no problems at all. Then we hit the Autostrade and headed north. I thought the drivers were very good, but it was hard to get used to the way they ignored the lane markers and just weaved around. I think Adam actually kind of liked that. He’s not an uptight Type-A personality like I am. He seemed right at home on the road in Italy.

There wasn’t too much to see in this area of the country. We did see a cool electric train just outside of Rome. The countryside was hilly and pleasant, but nothing stunning. By the time we got out of the city, it was time to eat, so we stopped at an Autogrille, which is kind of like a roadside diner. Here, we started having our first real problems dealing with being in a foreign country. First, we could not figure out how and where to park. The signs were unclear and we ended up in a truck parking lot, and could not figure out how to get back to the restaurant. Adam ended up having to drive the wrong way on a one-way traffic lane, which scared the crap out of me, but there really was no other way to correct our mistake!

Inside the restaurant, we had our first experience with the stupid Italian system of going to one counter to pick out your food, then another counter to place your order and pay, and then back to the first counter to pick up your food. It probably took us a half hour just to figure that out, even though Rick Steves had told us all about it. Also, once outside Rome, not everyone spoke English any more. There was very little help available, and we were all hungry and frustrated. The food choices were very limited, too. Again, way too much bread and cheese and almost no meat. I was hugely disappointed because I had been told that these places had much better food than you would expect. Maybe it was good bread, but that didn’t do anything for me.

The rest of the drive was very nice. We were entering Italy’s region of Umbria, which is pretty much just east of Tuscany, home of Florence. We passed through Perugia, the capital of Umbria, and the town where a good friend of ours grew up. We had wanted to stop there, but it was actually quite a big place and we didn’t see how we could have navigated around it. We had also planned on taking smaller roads, but we decided to head straight to our hotel just north of Perugia to get settled, and then to explore from there.

The countryside in Umbria is gorgeous. Our friend had told us that the road to our hotel would be beautiful, but we were still in awe. It was breathtaking! We climbed up steep switchbacks and I oooed and ahhhed as poor Adam had to focus entirely on driving. Sam slept the entire time and missed it all.

Our hotel was at the top of the mountain, and man, did I pick a good one! It was a renovated 11th Century castle and it was just as gorgeous as it looks on its web site.

This was our room:



And here are some of our own pictures:
The nearby town that we really wanted to see was Gubbio, but before we headed out, we explored the castle grounds. We met two cats (Sam was thrilled!), named Montefeltro and Cunegonda. I never found out if Cunegonda was named after anyone famous, but Montefeltro was the name of a duke of Urbino from the 15th Century, who was born at this castle. The hostess told us that we would see his portrait when we visited Florence, in the Uffizi Gallery, which we later did.

We also met an ancient Italian lady who lived in a very small house on the grounds of the castle. We tried to talk to her and it was hard to communicate, but we enjoyed it because she was such a stereotype – a small, wrinkled, friendly old woman, who wanted to chat and was enamored of Sam. I wish we had gotten a photograph of her.

We headed down the north side of the mountain road to get to Gubbio. I picked Gubbio because my friend told me that there was a funicular there, which would take us up a mountain to the oldest part of the town, and the pictures of the place on the web looked incredible. The hostess at the castle told us that the main road would take us straight into town and that we couldn’t miss the parking lot, where we’d have to get out and walk. But we ended up driving around the outskirts of Gubbio for about a half hour before we figured out what to do. Again, the Italians and their “directions.” Ugh.

But eventually, we did park and we walked through the extremely hilly streets towards the funicular. Sam did not want to walk so Adam had to carry her. We were rushed because we wanted to get back to the castle before dark. The driveway to reach the hotel was so steep and treacherous that Adam didn’t feel he would be able to navigate it after dark! We were tired, rushed, and frazzled, but Gubbio was our first real experience of a medieval town.  It’s difficult to capture what it feels like to walk through those narrow streets, and photos only show so much. We didn’t even try to take any, but here is someone else’s that captures a bit of the feel of it.

Unfortunately, Sam was too scared to ride the funicular. We couldn’t blame her – it was just a tiny cage on a rope that went up an incredibly steep hill.

So Adam and I took turns riding up and down, but we never got to explore the part of the city on top of the hill, which is supposed to be amazing. I was satisfied just with the funicular ride. As you go up the hill, you can see the old walls of the city, half crumbled, but with their purpose still clear. On an adjacent hillside is an impressive but crumbling castle, which I later found out is inhabited by nuns. The view of the mountains was incredible. Adam had the sense to take a couple of photos before the camera’s memory card filled up, but we wish we had taken many more.

Walking back down through the streets of Gubbio, we bought some fresh berries from a market for a snack instead of our usual gelato. That was a treat. Then we came across a miniature carousel and Sam had a ride. Once again – no planning necessary!

Back at our castle hotel, Adam sat outside and smoked a cigar while Montefeltro sat in his lap. Then we had our best meal yet at the hotel restaurant: scallops, duck, chicken curry, and pasta with meat sauce for Sam. We also had Montefeltro wine and tiramisu for dessert. Our waitress, Isabella, could speak only a bit of English, but she loved Sammy and the service was excellent. After dinner Isabella cut slices of prosciutto right off a cured, whole pig sitting in the corner. I have to admit, I was a little bit afraid to eat it, but I did.

Tuesday morning we had to leave for our next destination: Volterra. We were all a bit disappointed that our stay at the castle was so short. I didn’t have a plan for the day in mind, and Volterra was only an hour or so drive away, but a quick look at a map and chat with the hostess convinced us to head for Lake Trasimeno, a huge lake just west of Perugia.

The lake was gorgeous. We were really hoping to take a boat ride, and we knew there was a ferry in the small town just north of the lake, whose name I can’t recall. Unfortunately, it was more of a commuter ferry and didn’t run often enough for us to stick around. What we did was have lunch at a lovely restaurant right on the lake. Sam took photos.

Another fabulous meal of salmon tartar, shrimp curry ravioli, pasta with lake perch, veal, salad, and pasta with meat sauce (again) for Sam. I noticed that this meal had a similar flavor as the one from the night before, and I identified the common element as the salt, which seemed different than the salt I am used to. I asked the waitress about it and she said it was “mountain salt,”whatever that meant. She said that it could be purchased at any store. I took a look at the bottle but didn’t take a photo, and that was a mistake. Nobody, including my friend who grew up in Perugia, seems to know about any kind of special salt used in Umbria or what the mountain salt really was. Oh well, it was delicious. The food in Umbria was my favorite of the whole trip.

Our next stop was Sienna, a very popular destination in Italy. On our way, we crossed from Umbria into Tuscany. The countryside was slowly changing. Both regions are mountainous, or at least hilly, but Umbria is much more rugged, whereas Tuscany is filled with gently rolling hills. At this point, I was more impressed with Umbria.

Sienna was another medieval town, similar to Gubbio. We didn’t have much of an agenda there, except to walk through it a bit and see the Duomo. Rick Steves describes the Duomo perfectly: “The interior is a Renaissance riot of striped columns, intricate marble inlays, Michelangelo statues, and Bernini sculptures.” He also says it is “heaped with statues” and “plastered with frescoes.” Getting the idea? It’s pretty gaudy. In fact, it’s ugly. However, here, more than anywhere else, I appreciated the whole purpose of the cathedral: to impress, to awe, to astound, and maybe to inspire but maybe to diminish all else by contrast. Even in this day and age, to walk through those narrow, mean streets, and to come upon this wide-open square with its immense, intricate structure is to have your breath taken away.  That is, unless you are four years old. I love this video of Sam chasing pigeons with the Duomo in the background. I wonder if 13th Century children had the same (non) reaction.

In Sienna, we also found a little playground, where I took this photo of Adam pushing Sam on a swing, and she is beyond horizontal. It has nothing to do with Italy, but it’s one of my favorite photos of all time!

On our way from Sienna to Volterra, we had the most beautiful drive of the trip. The Tuscan hills are not overrated. We were lucky enough to climb through those hills at sunset. It was just gorgeous.  We arrived in Volterra at night and didn’t have the time or energy to do anything but grab a quick dinner and go to sleep. This time I picked a really dreary hotel and we had a hard time finding a place to eat and so the night was a bust. We did get adventurous and ordered wild boar and hare ragu for dinner (which Sam tried too), but it wasn’t very good. The restaurant was filled with a huge group of noisy teenage girls. There were a couple of adults in attendance so it seemed like a school group or something. Later I found out about Volterra’s connection to the Twilight books, and I wondered if that’s why the giggling group was there.

The next morning we only had time for a quick walk before we had to head out for Florence, so all I can say about Volterra is that it seemed to be the most dramatic of the small towns we visited. It’s set up high in the hills and the streets are just a little bit narrower and a little bit steeper than the others I’d seen.

The views from the city are incredible.

When you arrive you feel like you are entering a fortress, which of course, it essentially was. The streets we walked were filled with beautiful shops and I bought a pair of earrings – my only souvenir from the trip. Rick Steves claims Volterra is less touristy than the other small Tuscan towns. It’s his favorite. I was very disappointed that we weren’t able to spend more time there.

The road trip was stressful and frustrating at times. We didn’t do or see nearly as much as I had anticipated. By the time we left for Florence we were exhausted. But still, the experiences we had did give us a feel for what lies outside of the major cities of Italy. If you’re planning a trip to one of those cities, make time to take at least a day trip to one of the medieval towns. It’s hard to believe that these places still exist. It’s like another world.

I’ll wrap up my journal in the next installment: Florence.

Wow, the second month went much faster than the first! That whole NICU experience slowed time down to a crawl, but now that we’re settled in, time is flying by. We’ll take the 2-month photos soon so I’ll tide you over with these:

Mostly, life with twins has continued to be good. However, things have gotten more difficult in the past couple of weeks. Leo’s reflux got worse again. We’ve upped his dose of Zantac and we’ll see how it goes. Zoe has started spitting up more, which is not really that big of a deal, but it caused a problem the other night. She had spit up through her nose a couple of times and the milk and mucus got dried up in there and caused her to have trouble breathing. We ended up calling our pediatrician’s nurse line around midnight. (There is nothing more important in choosing a pediatrician than the availability of 24 hour advice and weekend appointments. I don’t care how good the doctor is.) Anyway, we just had to put some saline drops in her nose, but it made for a terrible night. And we’ve been having company and visitors over, which is wonderful, but ends up throwing us off our rhythm and putting me behind on jobs like laundry and paying bills. I think that no matter how boring the baby duties are, I need to limit my outings and visits so that I can maintain that discipline I wrote about earlier. Keeping the routine is the only thing that allows me to sleep, shower, and eat well enough so that I can feel like a human being.

Speaking of outings, I finally got Leo and Zoe out for a walk in the stroller last week. We’ve had fabulous weather lately and I’ve been wanting to take advantage of it, but for a long time I just didn’t feel ready to go through all that hassle. But I finally took the plunge and we all enjoyed the walk. My Baby Jogger stroller was well-worth the money.

On Friday I took Zoe and Leo to the doctor (by myself!) for their 2-month checkup. Zoe is 8 pounds and Leo is 9 pounds 8 ounces. They are on the growth chart now. For weight, Zoe is 2% and Leo is 7%. That sounds terrible, but that is compared to all two-month-olds, including full-term babies. Their adjusted age is just 3 weeks, and they are both around 50th percentile on the adjusted chart. They are growing exactly as they should be. Leo has one health issue besides the reflux which I’ll keep private, but which is not a big deal.  And Zoe has something which will resolve itself but is pretty funny right now. As Adam wrote on Facebook:

Yesterday, Zoe’s pediatrician told us that her narrow, square-shaped head is a preemie condition the doctors and nurses call, “toaster head.” Jeez, just our luck that one of our twins is a cylon!

We finally have the doctor’s permission to let them sleep longer at night. We had been doing it anyway, but now we’ll start to try to actively encourage longer stretches of sleep. Cluster feeding them at night seems to help a lot. They can go about 5 or 6 hours between feedings now, but that doesn’t happen consistently. We’re limited by the lowest common denominator – the baby who gets hungry first sets the schedule. And there’s always someone who is going through a growth spurt or not feeling well or whatever. It really keeps us on our toes.

Leo is just a monster – we can practically see him growing. And he feels so solid. I guess it’s a boy thing, because he feels about twice as heavy as Zoe. She feels delicate and almost hollow compared to him, but she’s really not that much smaller. In fact, in length she’s only half an inch smaller. But everything about her is dainty – her hands, her eyelids, even her tiny little butt. Leo is a football player, a bruiser, a solid mass of muscle, in short: a boy. And his butt is huge! It’s so wonderful to have a boy and girl at the same time; I love seeing the differences between them.

And are they different! They are becoming more and more different as they get older. When they were born, they looked somewhat similar. There is even one photo from the NICU which we can’t identify as of Leo or Zoe. But now it seems like they got exactly the opposite genes from each side. Leo seems to have Adam’s eyes but The Italian’s face shape. Zoe has Adam’s face shape but The Italian’s eyes. Their noses are different, their ears are different, their coloring is different, their body-shapes are different (even given the boy-girl differences), and their personalities are different. Overall, I think Zoe got more from The Italian and Leo got more from Adam. And maybe this is why I had trouble bonding with her early on, more so than because of the breastfeeding. From the start, she’s just been more alien to me. But now, I’m in love with her alien-ness. She is a mystery to me and I can’t wait to find out what she’ll be like when she is older. Of course, Leo is a mystery too, but he is so much more like Sammy that it feels familiar. Then again, he’s a boy, and that makes him exciting and new, too.

I can’t imagine any more perfect set of children than the three that we have. And of course, that is how every parent feels. Because once they arrive, they are yours and they are perfect and you can’t imagine life without them. Not just life without children, but life without your particular children.

Zoe’s first smile was for Sammy. Isn’t that the sweetest thing ever? And she is learning to use her hands, too! Unbearably cute and sweet:

 


 

Addition

How do I reconcile these two things?

Sam was looking at a picture of six birds on a box, which were in two groups of three, and within the groups, there were two small birds and one large bird. She counted, pointing:

One
One, two
One
One, two
One, two, three, four, five, six
So one plus two plus one plus two equals six. And one plus one plus two plus two equals six.

Wow! But the other day, we had this conversation:

Me: Sam, what is four plus zero.
Sam: Ummmm, five.
Me: No. Remember, zero means nothing.
Sam: Ummm, six.
Me: No. Look, I’m holding up four fingers, and I’m going to add nothing to them. Zero. So how many do I have?
Sam: Four!
Me: Yes! Now, what is seven plus zero.
Sam: Eight.
[repeat same explanation]
Me: Now, what is one plus zero?
Sam: Two.
[and so on]

It’s really hard to get an idea of what she understands and what she doesn’t. I’m thinking this means that she still has to have physical objects to count. The zero conversation happened in the car and the only time she could get it was when I held up fingers.

Anyway, it’s all fun stuff! I love to try to figure out what’s going on in that budding little brain of hers.

 

Sammy was angry all morning. Stomping, spitting, breaking the rules, yelling at us. At one point when things were calm, I mentioned that she needed to remove her own toys from Leo and Zoe’s toy shelf. (This is something we’re working on.) She told me that she wanted to put her scissors on their shelf so that they could use them when they got older. Then it got real quiet.

A few minutes later Sammy came into the living room and looked in her mirror. I asked if everything was okay. She said coyly, “You know what I’m going to say, don’t you?” This means she broke the rules, or is about to ask if she can break the rules. She came over to me and was about to whisper in my ear when I said, “Oh, I see it. You cut your hair.” She had cut a couple of locks from the front. I said, completely calmly, but with mild disappointment in my voice: “It looks bad. And your school pictures are coming up soon, so it will look that way for your picture. And when you put it up in a ponytail, that part won’t go in the ponytail because it is too short.”

She said, “Yeah. I miss my hair.” I told her that it would grow back, but that it would take a long time.

Someday, that girl will learn that actions taken in anger never do her any good. I don’t know how long it can take to learn that lesson, but she certainly gives herself enough opportunities to learn it. I guess it’s a difficult one – plenty of adults have never learned it either.

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