The Twins Update – Ten Months Old

June 25, 2012 in The Twins Update | 4 comments

Since it has been two months since I last wrote an update, a lot has changed. My, oh my, how things have changed!

Zoe has finally caught up to Leo, essentially. They don’t do everything new at the same time, but she does some things first and it is not obvious that she is behind, like it used to be. That makes me so happy. Her personality has changed, too. She is less unflappable and more demanding and fussy than she ever was before. I still hope she will have a more calm personality and that this is just a phase, but it’s really hard to tell where she is headed right now.

Zoe learned to sit herself up before Leo did. In fact, I have never actually witnessed Leo get himself up into a sitting position, but I know he can do it because I’ve found him sitting up in his crib. Even more exciting was finding him standing up in his crib, just a few days ago! I haven’t had such a moment since the day Sammy first started to walk. It was just magical to see this formerly permanently-prone baby go so suddenly to the upright position. The human position. I’ve written before about how meaningful it was when Sammy began to walk and part of that is that she did it so suddenly and it transformed my perception of her in an instant. It was like that when I found Leo standing. I wonder what it would be like to have one of those babies that doesn’t speak until very late and then starts speaking in sentences. That would blow my mind.

I just re-read what I had written about all the feeding issues we were going through just two months ago. Unbelievable! Both Leo and Zoe will eat just about anything now, and we’re transitioning away from the baby-food mush into a lot of the same foods we eat, just cut up very small. They love their solid food so much that they resent their bottles and hardly eat much formula anymore, and they will not allow anyone to eat in front of them unless they get to eat, too. It doesn’t matter if they just ate and should be full – if someone has food, they want it too. Leo, especially, loves to eat. You can’t shovel food into his mouth fast enough, but of course, he prefers to feed himself anyway.

Zoe got her first tooth on Mother’s Day! Leo followed about a week or two later. I believe, at the moment, Zoe has three teeth and Leo has two, but I haven’t stuck my finger in there lately so there could be more. They don’t seem too bothered by teething, but of course that doesn’t stop us from blaming their fussiness on it. And they have been fussier – both of them. They whine and get frustrated and generally vocalize their displeasure much more often than they used to. We’re doing more sign language with them in hopes of facilitating their obvious need to communicate and both of them seem to have attempted a sign or two, but it’s so hard to tell. Maybe that will be the big achievement in the next update!

A few days ago, I threw away the Gymini. The Gymini was the playmat with dangling toys that the twins spent most of their infant days on. I think 80% of our early photos of them are on the Gymini. It was Sammy’s before it was theirs and it was old and faded enough that I knew it wouldn’t sell at the consignment shop, so I put it in the trash. I cried a little.

Leo still likes the jumper, but Zoe can’t stand the jumper or the exersaucer anymore. I keep trying, thinking it is just a phase, but it’s been a while. I think those things are headed for new homes soon, too. And the bouncy seats I got for free from another mother of twins – well, we still use them on rare occasions to give both babies a bottle at the same time, but they take up a lot of floor space so I might let them go at the same time. We don’t use the baby-bucket car seats much as carriers anymore either. We carry Leo and Zoe out and strap them in in the car, and we use the regular seats in the stroller now. What a relief not to have those huge car seats in the living room! We are freeing up a ton of space, which is really important when you only have 800 square feet on the main level of your house.

With all of that, I still haven’t mentioned the biggest change: both Leo and Zoe are “crawling.” I put it in scare quotes because it’s not really hand-and-knees crawling, but elbows and hips scooting, but the point is, they move. And they move fast! And now I’m realizing that it is going to be really difficult to provide enough space for them to crawl and walk and climb in this house. Besides being split up into three levels, the main level alone is all broken up with steps. There are three steps down from our living room to our foyer which is hard tile, and there is no way that I can figure out to block them off. Then there is the one step between the living and dining rooms. The only large area without steps is the kitchen/playroom/dining room, but we have the playroom blocked off with gates so that is not very useful either. Where will they use ride-on toys? Where will they even use push toys? I’m sure we’ll figure it out, but I don’t have any good ideas yet. I’ve already re-organized the whole house about three times since they were born. Constant change is here to stay.

For now, though, the playroom that I envisioned before they were born is working out very well. Adam installed a pull-up bar and mirror which is proving to be a lot of fun, and with the baby gates installed, it is a safe place for Zoe and Leo to explore.

I’ve been horrible about taking photos, but I’ve taken some video of the “crawling,” so if you have the patience, you can watch my two little humans here and here.

  1. Hanah on June 25, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    Amy, have you read any books about raising twins, other than the mechanics of how to get them on a schedule and stuff like that? I just read Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children, and I basically liked it though it was a bit over-the-top in places. It talks about stuff like individuality and making comparisons and relationships and alone-time with parents. I’d be curious to hear your thoughts about those kinds of things sometime.

  2. Amy on June 25, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    Hanah, obviously I agree in theory about raising twins as individuals, but I haven’t read anything on it and don’t have strong opinions about how to do it. I almost feel like the twin thing is a non-issue. Right now, so many things are impractical to treat individually. I mean, theoretically, they should each have their own meal and nap schedule. But that would require enormous sacrifice from me so it’s not going to happen. We certainly won’t require them to do the same extracurricular activities, wear the same clothing, etc., and we have plans for individual time with both mommy and daddy (just like we do with Sam). We plan to put them in different Montessori classrooms just to get some separation. But other than that, I don’t think about it much.

    We do much more comparing than I thought I would allow myself, but mostly because it actually accentuates their individuality…at least in OUR eyes. We also compare each one of them to Sam all the time, because it seems like it helps Sam to understand that they are real people and that we all were babies once. “Sam, you did the exact same thing when you were that age,” etc.

    As for labels, we don’t say, “Zoe is smarter than Leo,” but we always say things like, “Zoe is calmer than Leo or Sam.” Or “Leo likes to move around much more than Sam ever did, and more than Zoe, too.” I mean, those are just facts. “Smarter” is an evaluation that really can’t be supported by the evidence, it’s unnecessary, it’s meaningless, and it’s loaded. Oh, and I would never say who is “prettiest” or things like that. But purely factual things like, “Leo poops all the time like Sam did” are okay. I don’t have a red flag about not comparing, but about not using certain kinds of labels. Actually, I don’t even think of them as labels – I have a problem with the concept of not labeling too. Anyway, that whole issue to me is the same with twins or any other siblings and we treat it the same way.

    Based on that, do you think I would benefit from the book you mention?

  3. Hanah on June 25, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    That all sounds very reasonable, and pretty much like how I think we will approach things.

    The Emotionally Healthy Twins book was interesting to me because it raised a lot of things to think about. It’s not just about babies, but goes all the way through teens and even young adults with a chapter for each stage. It talks about problems to watch out for and how to avoid/fix them. There are a surprising variety of ways that twins can become too dependent on each other: one of them taking on a caretaker role, one or both of them afraid to do anything without the other, defining themselves as a unit, defining themselves in opposition to each other, refusing to play with or talk to other kids. I thought it was helpful for a big-picture overview. I’d suggest reading it at some point if you have time, but not hugely important based on what you’re already doing, I think.

  4. Amy on June 25, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    It sounds like it’s worth a read, and the fact that it is available on Kindle decided me. I just bought it. Thanks! Oh, and by the way, nothing I read about the mechanics and logistics of having twins meant much at all. My previous experience with Sam was much more meaningful. (For example, buying the right car and right stroller because getting around was the hardest thing for me, personally.) Also, I found (and am still finding) that the challenge of having twins PLUS one is the real challenge. The two babies together add up to a lot of work, but it’s not complicated or really challenging. It’s just more of the same–feed one then feed the other. But the different ages mean you can’t do one activity for all the kids and that is what I find difficult. YMMV. I’m so excited for you!